Monday, 5 December 2011

The cat ate your penis!

The difficult conversation NONE of us wants to have with our kids: masturbation!

If you are like most parents, your child at some point will start masturbating. Most kids actually start as toddlers. It's not a concept we find easy to swallow, but the reality is, kids are born sexual. Not as in, wanting to have sex, but as sexual beings who "feel good" when playing with their genitals.

Well what did you expect?? They wake up one day as a 13 year old and it suddenly starts to feel good? Well... NO!

So, now that you are over the shock... feeling ok? Back to the topic.

So what do you do when your 2 year old starts spending a lot of time with their hands down their undies?

As much as I want to freak out and tell him he is to NEVER EVER do that EVER again, I don't.

I tell him that he can play with his penis if he wants to, but he needs to do it in his room as it's something private. Now, I know some people will disagree, but I really think it's important for our kids to grow up with the sense that sex is a healthy, normal part of life.
Mmmmm... just not that normal that they can share it with everyone else!

I think a lot of us have grown up with the sense that sex is wrong, dirty, sinful and you've got to wonder how that affects your sex life as an adult (probably more so women than men).

The other thing I NEVER tell my little boy (if he's playing with it or walking around naked) is that "the cat will eat it" or "it'll get infected and fall off" or give him some idea that he'll lose it.

Freud theorised that little boys developed a castration fear when they realised that girls didn't have a penis. He reckons they thought little girls had had their penis cut off as punishment for something, and worried that they'd have theirs cut off too.

Now... I know!... Sounds a bit far fetched. I'll give you that.
But hey, I'm not taking any chances. I don't want my little boy growing up neurotically worrying about losing his penis.
Seriously though! I reckon if he woke up one morning and his penis had fallen off, he'd be totally traumatised (so would I!!).

Image credit

So there's no threatening the loss of penises in our home.

Please do note, that this is my opinion as a mum not a psychologist. I have not specialised in early masturbation...
Or any masturbation for that matter.
Thank goodness for that!

And don't ask me about little girls. I don't know. I don't have any.

How do you deal with it? Do you have girls? Would love to hear from you too!

Linking up with Jess at Diary of a SAHM for IBOT. Loads of interesting reads there!